I shouted: “I don’t want to die”

Alexandra Rotan opens up about the dramatic moment we didn’t get to see. 
By Hege Løvstad Toverud, May, 8th 2025, KK.no
Translated by Karina Brandt, KEiiNO NEWS, May 9th, 2025

A huge glass bubble is lowered from the ceiling of the Folketeateret. Inside stands Alexandra Rotan. Bright and beautiful, with a voice just as bright and beautiful. In the role of Glinda in “Wicked”, she will soon hit her high notes, one after  the other. At first glance, the bubble is a shining picture, without scratches or cracks. But those who know Glinda know better. Those who know Alexandra too.

Because a bubble can burst. Even from high notes.

Let’s turn back the clock four days. To the foyer of the Folketeateret, in the middle of two rehearsals. The press department has already moved the interview once, and that at short notice. But maybe that’s what happens when you buy a theater concept from Denmark and set it up in record time? Alexandra meets us with a gentle look and in pink slippers. On the wall are posters from the “Wicked” movie with Ariana Grande as Glinda. When we point out that she has vocal shoes to fill, Alexandra smiles – seemingly unaffected:

– Wicked has been on Broadway for over 20 years, and I have my own twist. At the first dance rehearsal, the choreographer said: “Yes, yes, Alexandra, its a good thing, its a long time until March 6th.” Haha. That says a bit about my starting point. I was so bad. But now I’m being lifted and thrown around and doing a lot of pirouettes. I’ve practiced hard.

Pressure and support

At primary school back home in Eidsvoll, Alexandra jumped to her feet as soon as the opportunity to perform presented itself. Her parents drove her to singing rehearsals and they furnished a music studio in the basement. Alexandra describes herself as a distinct achiever, who got A’s and B’s in all subjects. When others were at parties, she went home to do her homework and practice music.

– I was supposed to be the best and do a lot with music. I practiced a couple of songs every night and had mini concerts for my parents – which they filmed.

She claims that she has never felt any pressure from home:

– It was a pressure I put on myself. Being good gave me good self-esteem. But mom and dad always told me that I can do it. They have never been critical of the industry or my career choice. I played a lot alone, never in a band, and I always knew that mom and dad supported me.

There is flooded with children singing in the hairbrush and playing pop star, but from there to building her own home studio? What made her want it so much?

– It gave me a different kind of joy than I got anywhere else, explains Alexandra.

– I had extracurricular activities, a little handball and dancing and things like that, but there was something about being on stage. I felt the passion.

Average review

At the time of writing this interview, Aftenposten has managed to come up with a review that hardly raised the bar for the “Wicked” ensemble. But it must be said that when KK sees the musical a few days later, the mood is so high that we wonder if the reviewer has seen the same performance. But what about Alexandra, how does she deal with reviews?

– Honestly, not so good. I try to say that it doesn’t affect me, but it does. My roommate Markus is good at saying: “Now you’re overthinking it. This can be a holistic experience, with lots of other elements. It doesn’t have to mean its you.”

– But your first thought is that its you?

Alexandra nods.

– its me. That’s why I think this whole musical thing is really scary.

No need to audition

Alexandra Rotan was offered the role of Glinda, and thus didn’t have to audition with the risk of being rejected like on a singing show on TV. She talks about when the phone call came:

– I remember starting to cry. Glinda is a dream role for so many, and then they wanted me to do it? It was just like: “Yep. Or wait two seconds, I’ll just check the calendar!” Haha. The only thing that crashed was a band concert in Lommedalen that I had agreed to a long time ago, so that Sunday we won’t be playing “Wicked”.

Musical artist? Her? On a team with Norway’s most high-profile musical artists? When the initial cheers had died down, it began to sink in:

– I love a challenge, but then the thoughts came: “Oh my God, I have nothing to do here. All the others have had big roles, have trained a lot and are the elite of musical artists.” I said it to Sanne Kvitnes and Thomas Brasel, who play Elphaba and Fiero: “I’m so grateful that I’m doing this with you, because you’re so good. Please help me through it.” And now we’ve become the best group in the world.

The day that changed her life

Alexandra was 20 years old when coincidences changed her life. Now it was finally her turn, she thought, when she signed up for the national hit “Idol”. Alexandra writhes over the memory:

– “Idol” is something I haven’t wanted to talk about much, but now I dare. Now I can stand it. I thought “Idol” would be my breakthrough. It was the year after Astrid S had been on it, and I thought now it would happen! But then I was eliminated in the first semi-final, and no one noticed that I had been on it at all.

Alexandra laughs and tells about the message she sent to producer Gunnar Greve the next day. Did he possibly have a job for her?

– My dream was shattered, and I thought I would never make it. It was the end of the song for me. But he actually had a job, as a vocalist on Alan Walker’s European tour. Hehe!!

Alexandra Rotan (28)
Artist
Known as the vocalist of the band KEiiNO, which came in sixth place in the Eurovision final in 2019.
Is from Råholt in Eidsvoll municipality.
Cohabits with guitarist Markus Maaren Bastøe.
Lives in Oslo.
Currently in the role of Glinda in the musical “Wicked” at the Folketeateret in Oslo.

Soon Alexandra was living the pop star life, playing to packed arenas around the world. In good “Idol” spirit, she calls the experience “absolutely insane.”

– We flew to Indonesia, had a concert, and flew on four hours later. In Mexico, I had a top-floor suite, with two double beds, a gigantic bathroom, and I went in there and was like:

 “Wow, what is this life?” All the experiences showed me what an artist’s life can be. But now the DJ industry is pretty crazy, with a lot of money.

No thanks 

You know her as one third of the successful trio KEiiNO, who swept the Norwegian Eurovision Song Contest in 2019 and took Norway to 6th place internationally with “Spirit in the Sky.” When the victory in the Norwegian final was a fact, Alexandra called the school where she studied nursing and put it like it was: “I don’t know if you watched TV this weekend, but I won MGP, and I finally have the opportunity to follow my dream, so I say thank you for me.”

– They gave me a leave of absence from the study, in case I wanted to come back, but I was a bit like: “Now I have the opportunity for plan A and don’t need plan B right now.” After a couple of years they asked if I wanted to come back, but I said no.

She assures:

– Nursing is a great profession, which I could easily have imagined if I hadn’t had music. But now I’m finally able to live the dream I’ve had since I was a little girl.

Doubted herself

That brings us back to the bubble. The golden-edged and glamorous one. Alexandra talks about the doubts that have come over her at times. The fog on the glass. Because maybe they were right, those who said she had to change? Like during MGP in 2019, when a famous manager whispered in her ear that she should have a pink stripe in her hair or a cool earring. Something people could associate her with, then she would be really famous!

– That was the last straw. I thought: “Oh, my God, all those people I have let influence me up until now. Who have made me want to change. They are wrong!” Since then, I have been very clear that I am not going to change. I wear the hair I want and the clothes I want. But of course, you are influenced by hearing that there is nothing special about your voice. In the end, you believe it. But now that things are going so well, I am myself all the way.

She looks out into the foyer:

“I’m here now because they wanted me to come. It turns out that Alexandra is good enough as she is.”

Bursting into tears

The viewers of “Kompani Lauritzen” got a cold shower when Alexandra Rotan hung outside the bridge over Vøringsfossen and couldn’t get up. With anxiety in her eyes and a slightly too heavy bag over a slightly too steep waterfall:

– I was completely naked, without makeup, loud tones, stage lights and sequins. I had a fever and asked the commander before we were going out if it was safe. I was told that the decision was up to me. And I’m not one to give up.

Alexandra describes the waterfall that roared far down there and boomed from the water masses:

– I had a real panic attack and even shouted: “I don’t want to die!” But fortunately they cut that out. It was incredibly scary, but also a bit funny, because what you see in the clip is really me as a person. Five seconds later I take off my harness and say: “Okay, we have to move on!” That’s how I am. its over quickly.

She leans forward eagerly:

– But I’m very happy with the effort, because I became aware of my other strengths besides music. It gave me a lot of self-confidence that isn’t based on musical talent.

Double life

Alexandra believes that her stage personality was chiseled out quite early, after all, she has been “public” since she was 14. Alexandra as a person, however, is a little more woolly:

– On tour I am the artist Alexandra, and then I come home and sit on the couch and am a bit like: “What do I do now?” There is a downside to being an artist that not many people talk about. In quiet periods, when I don’t get to be on stage, it is a bit difficult to find Everyday Alexandra.

She has never been bothered by stage fright or premiere nerves. Excitement is one thing, but the last five minutes before she goes on, she is so excited “that it feels like an eternity”.

– Once I am on stage, I can stand there for hours.

When we ask her to explain the plot of “Wicked” to us, Alexandra laughs, and believes that a short version is almost impossible. Because the story of the once-good friends Elphaba and Glinda is intertwined with the gang from The Wizard of Oz, and the bad guys can quickly turn out to be the good guys – and vice versa.

– Glinda falls head over heels in love with Fiero, but he also has a good eye for Elphaba, so its a little love triangle. And then you follow Elphaba’s sister, who is in a wheelchair. There’s so much that people can identify with: friendship, outsider status and love.

She describes the musical as “more fun than the Grand Prix,” because she gets to do it all over again night after night. And she is grateful that Markus has bravely held down the fort at home. She shows a clip from the rehearsal. The audience cheering, including her boyfriend:

– He sent me a lot of messages in big letters, saying it was the sickest thing he had ever seen, and that he was so proud. He has really been a rock when we have been at our worst. His support has meant that I have lived like on a cloud.

Together with colleague

Markus is the guitarist in KEiiNO and was initially Alexandra’s friend and colleague. It could have continued like that, had it not been for the fact that the friendship started to get a little bad. Alexandra would rather spend time that could have been used for something else with Markus.

– He suddenly came into my life and became my best friend, she says:

– He made me laugh every time we were together, and to look forward to going to work even more. And in the end we both realized: “Its the two of us. Its the two of us who are supposed to be together!”. Its the first time I’ve been really, really in love.

She smiles.

– He was so natural and honest and didn’t try to be someone else. I’ve been in relationships that may not have been entirely good, where things have progressed a little too quickly. That’s why it was so liberating to meet Markus, because he was himself from day one. For me, it meant a lot that we started as friends and knew each other well before we took the next step.

Today, the couple share an apartment in Oslo, and when asked if they plan to commit to each other – that it is that kind of relationship – Alexandra blurts out:

– Oh yes, absolutely! We have agreed that we will be together for the rest of our lives.

Alexandra is getting ready to go back to rehearsals. Soon she will be immersed in the bubble, which will turn out to be not quite so glamorous. And people will recognize themselves in the story of good and evil and all the gray areas in between. Or the green areas, in this case.

– The Glinda she initially pretends to be is just a game for the gallery. She is not really like that, and has a lot of love in her, and she and Elphaba become friends. I have a line that goes like this: “I have had so many friends, but only one who matters.”

She says that she and Sanne Kvitnes have actually become best friends, and that she’s going to Sanne’s wedding.

– Its actually a thing. Around the world where “Wicked” is performed, the people who play Glinda and Elphaba become friends. There’s something about the play that’s contagious.

She elaborates on her own friendships:

– When I was growing up, I didn’t hang out with friends after school that much. Now I’ve gotten better at relaxing when I have time off. I still put music first. And Markus. But I wish I was better at taking care of my friendships.

– Do you have good friends?

– Yes, absolutely. Not a lot, but a few very good ones. And I’ve learned to see who is actually there because they genuinely believe in me and like me, and who just thinks its nice to chat when I do something cool.

Fame has never been a driving force, Alexandra assures, nor has celebrity status. The glow in her eyes as she paws back at the stage in her slippers reveals that she actually means it:

– I love standing in front of the audience and seeing people’s faces when I sing. That my song can mean something to someone.